“I’m just trying to survive…”
This is the thought structure behind most addictions and obsessions, especially things like over or under eating, drugs, alcohol etc. For instance, people will see a fat person who overeats and say ‘you are just lazy and gluttonous’ or even say this about themselves and maybe on the surface this appears to be true, but the truth is that they are just trying to survive, they are just trying to quiet the trauma and soothe the pain, they are just doing what seems to only solution they can perceive to somehow moving on or moving forward or just existing in their lives.
Unfortunately, the pain gets exacerbated by the self-hatred that ignites from within from the seeing of the judged and hated body and behaviours, and the knowing that it was self-inflicted and then seeing the self overeat or ‘fall off the wagon’ and thinking that was weakness and pitiful. The judgement and denigration of self, the loss of respect and value for self and the disgust in self just grows and spirals or gets shoved down deep inside, unacknowledged and disregarded to fester and multiply as an underpinning reason for most life choices.
The truth is, you are just trying to survive, you are just trying to heal your hurts and soften the pain and this is the only way you know how. It is an unhelpful way; it is a self-perpetuating pain way, but it is the only way you have known.
Don’t hurt the self further by castigating and berating the self for the behaviour and the outcome. Love the self into better patterns and better behaviours.
Start with telling the self ‘I love you’ and recognising that you and your body are one, you are best friends, you are the complete package, without your body you could not exist here. You have forgotten your importance, and the importance of the body that houses you. Love it no matter what its size and no matter what its current habits. All can be healed.
“This body is not an ornament it’s a vehicle.” quote from Taryn Brumfit the documentary ’embrace’
You are not an ornament; you are a beautiful whole incarnate being in a body that is the only reason you can survive and exist on this planet.
It is your vehicle, it is your best friend, it is your life support system, it is your engagement with love, peace, life and fulfillment and it is doing the best it can in the circumstances. It is the only reason you are alive, without it you would not exist here.
How about a bit of love and appreciation for your body, the chosen form of your life on earth?
Why did you choose this shape? Get over yourself, accept yourself and love yourself, as you are, completely. Don’t try and look like any other decision by any other person as to what a ‘perfect’ body looks like. Your body is constantly and endlessly talking to you and informing you of where is needs your attention and love – honour this.
Allow yourself to live the life you desire to live on every level by stopping the judgement of yourself as an ornament and starting the acceptance of the self as power, love and presence.
You are here in all your physical glory, exactly perfect as you are!