A lot of people talk about their partners and their relationship as destiny, as an undeniable attraction, as their soul mate, the one that they are drawn to and driven to be with, to stay with and ‘make work’. Does this sound like you? Or what you are looking for?
Be careful.
A lot of people misunderstand what attraction actually is and what they are actually dealing with is a form of non beneficial entanglement or harnessing. If you have not healed yourself, your wounds, your traumas and your heartaches, you will attract and be attracted to those folk that are not healed, those that would be attracted to your wounds, your damage and your unhealed aspects.
This may be wonderful if you then connect and heal and grow together – and occasionally this happens.
But it can be profoundly traumatizing, damaging and diminishing if you connect with this being who resonates with your trauma and then this being takes advantage of your desire for a relationship. If you honour this being and stay with this being, this being who does not honour you, who does not listen to you, who does not engage with you as the cherished loved one that you are, all that happens is that you feel drained, tired, alone and forlorn. You are not being honoured in return, and the relationship is not nourishing your soul, spirit and emotional desires.
There is a distinct difference between a relationship based upon attraction and one based upon harnessing and entanglement.
Be present with yourself. Be honest with yourself. And ask yourself the following questions:
Why are you there in that relationship?
What are you learning?
How much do you have to sacrifice or change you to stay there?
How uplifted, loved, seen, heard does it make you feel?
How powerful, brave, courageous and supported does it make you feel?
Are your dreams, friendships, pursuits encouraged?
Do you encourage theirs?
Do you support them in their dreams and desires?
Do you feel prioritized and important in their lives?
Are they prioritized and important in yours?
These are all the types of questions one should ask oneself to discover if you are dealing with ‘attraction’ over ‘harnessing’.